Thank God for grace.
I really make my self sick. This isn't a self-flaggellating thing it is just an honest observation. I was made aware of my sinful and proud nature this last week. Someone told me that the dude from TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network) was facing some allegations regarding sexual misconduct. He wasn't sure who it was or what the details were for sure so I checked it out and sure enough Paul Crouch the guy who started TBN was facing some allegations of homosexual misconduct. Now my first thoughts were pleasure that Paul was caught doing something bad and annoyance at how much crap they shovel to cover up/ avoid disscussion of it (ie: the accuser is possed/druggy/greedy. or this is a ploy by Satan to bring them downetc.). I don't care to much for the whole of TBN and it's programming, I just have issues with the whole prosperity gospel/psychotic charasmatic thingy (it just doesn't wash scripturally), so needless to say that was influencing my thoughts. I thought about how much damage their weirdness (just check it out) has done regarding the view of Christians from outside the bubble and how they are always "professing" their greatness and how they are always grubbing for money and it pissed me off and that is when I let my self take a sick pleasure in their hardships.
Now no sooner did I think this stuff then the Holy Spirit started to open my eyes to this very fact that I was taking pleasure in their pain and that is probably farther from Jesus then any of my issues with them. I realized that this (their scandal) doesn't help the cause of Christ much either, nor do all the snide comments from other Christians that were posted on various web sites ranging from well read(LA Times) to not. I was faced with the fact that the same God who persues me with boundless love and grace does so for them and if he can forgive my duplicity and hypocrisy then he can and does forvie them too. I also knew in my heart that what I really needed to do for them was pray and not just moan and bitch.
So that is why I make my self sick, I just can never believe how easily I am duped into judgmental thoughts and behaviour and just how short the roots of my own worldview and theology are. Because no matter what I think of Paul and his purple or pink haired wife the following quotes from Paul applys to them (and all those other jerks I can't stand :))
2 Corinthians 13:14May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished--
posted by Kimbal at 1:57 a.m.
